Although the Bible tells us that sin is sin, we like to think that some are bigger than the others. And in our minds, we create categories for them: tall, venti, grande. We have the huge sins: sins that we think we’ll never do. Then there’s the medium, and then the small. There’s another category we sort sin into: the necessary sins. The sins we think we can’t live life without. And there’s one in particular we should talk about: lying.
Lying feels like it’s a necessary sin
We live in a world where the king of lies is present. And we live in a world where it feels like we cannot survive without the casual lie. And it’s all pervasive: without lies, it seems that we cannot maintain an intimate relationship with someone, we can’t hold down a job, and that we cannot handle people’s emotions around us.
“The Lord detests lying lips, but he delights in people who are trustworthy.”
The word “detest” in Hebrew is very strong: it indicates to us that God has a nauseous reaction to lying. And if we look at John 8:44, we see that God doesn’t like us lying because we speak the devil’s native tongue when we do. We must understand that God hates lying, and that there is no room for lying in the life of a believer. The only way we can keep lies in our life is by moving away from the God of truth, and towards the king of lies. It’s a choice — a clear, hard choice we have to make.
Whom do we lie to?
A. We lie to others
In Jeremiah 9:5, we see that friends deceive friends.
B. We lie to God
Lying to others is part of who we are, but when we lie to each other in the community of faith, we consequently lie to God. In Acts 5:4, Peter tells Ananias and Sapphira exactly that.
C. We lie to ourselves
In Psalms 119:29, we see the prayer of the psalmist as he admits that he’s lying to himself, which leads to his living the lie. And the end game of this is losing all sense of what the truth actually is, and losing sense of what your identity is.
It reads to me like a three-act-structure to easily lose sense of yourself: we tell a lie > we live the lie > we end up believing the lie. So is lying a sin? The Bible already tells us unequivocally that it is. So that’s not the question to tackle. The big question to answer is this: “why do we lie”.
Why do we believe that lying is better than the promise and the truth of God?
Why do we lie when we know that God detests it? We have a bunch of easy excuses, do we not? Anything from “I want to have a simpler life”, to “I don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings”, and all the way through to “I want to have an advantage”.
Let’s talk about Isaac and Rebekah now.
“When Isaac was old and his eyes were so weak that he could no longer see, he called for Esau his older son and said to him, “My son.” “Here I am,” he answered. Isaac said, “I am now an old man and don’t know the day of my death. Now then, get your equipment—your quiver and bow—and go out to the open country to hunt some wild game for me.”
Thus begins the story of a mother and her favourite son. Esau and Jacob are the sons of Rebekah and Isaac; and Isaac, as you know, is the son of Abraham. The family has been blessed by God to become a great nation, and to be a blessing to all the nations. This family is in a good place. Part of the great family of Abraham. What could go wrong?
Esau and Jacob were not very like each other: Jacob liked to stay home and cook and help his mom out at home, but Esau was a hunter like no other on earth. Esau was also physically different: even at birth, he was reddish in complexion and was covered in hair.
And here’s the twist: Isaac had a blessing to give that he knew was designed for the younger child Jacob, but he wanted to give it to his elder son Esau. Rebekah’s favourite was Jacob. And she decided to do everything in her power to get her favourite son the blessing that should be his. Genesis 27:4-29 traces the story as it happened.
The question that we should answer now is: why did Jacob and Rebekah lie the way they did? In such an intense way. In such a deliberate way. And what can we learn from this passage about a mother’s fight for her favourite son’s blessing? In lying, Rebekah erased the perception of reality, and it led to consequences in their lives that went on for decades. So why do we lie?
Why do we lie?
A. Because of the obsession with something I desire
Our desires lead us astray. What do we desire? To be accepted by a certain group of people? To get a better position at work? Do we desire lust? All these lead us to a life of lies. Rebekah was paying attention: Isaac was very old, and she was waiting for this moment very patiently. She had planned the act out very deliberately, she knew where the goatskin was, she knew how old Isaac was and how frail his eyesight truly was. It is frightening to see how well she mimicked Satan to deceive her own family. She was obsessed, and it led her to commit one of the most daring acts in the entire Bible. And all to steal a blessing that was already promised by God.
Here’s an exercise for you, dear reader. Answer this as honestly as you can:
I lie because _____________________.
Anything you put in the blank up there is your obsession. Is it about your looking good? Or about making others think you’re a good Christian? Or that you’re like everyone else when you hang out with those who are not believers?
It all comes down to this: are we afraid of what others will think of us if they truly see us for who we are? And do we think that the lie we’re telling is actually better than the truth?
Know this: we cannot build a life of integrity on a foundation of lies. We might get what we want in the short term, but we will lose what really matters. If we wish to build a relationship with anyone based on a lie, we may achieve a certain form of relationship, but what we can’t achieve is intimacy in that relationship. And the same is true for our relationship with our saviour.
Why do we lie?
B. Because I think that my lie is better than God’s promises
Rebekah had a wish: that her favourite son would be blessed. The interesting thing here is that God had already promised her that it would happen. In Genesis 25:23, God gave her a promise regarding this. And she had no reason to take matters into her own hands the way she did.
In the Bible, we see two kinds of promises: conditional promises, and unconditional promises. In so many instances, we see God make a promise that is not based on who the person is, or what their actions are — it’s simply a promise God will keep. And Rebekah had a promise just like that, and it was given to her about her younger son.
And yet, Rebekah acted out of her own power, and with her own strength. And in doing so, she followed Sarah’s example, sadly. How many times do we do this ourselves? How often do we try to take matters into our own hands, instead of trusting that God keeps His promises?
None of the four characters in this story is an innocent bystander. There’s rebellion, jealousy, cheating and tragedy writ large in the story, and one has to wonder if this story could have gone any other way. Maybe it could have — if the parents had not played favourites with the children, and if they had dealt with the reality of God’s promise to Jacob as a family — and maybe their obedience would have given God far greater glory than this.
Trusting God that his promises are true is the first and most important step. Believing that our lies are better than that is the best way to end up with the kind of story this family has.
Why do we lie?
C. Because I would rather pretend than believe that truth
Do we prefer to put on the hairy clothes instead of being who we are? Do we lie to pretend to be someone we are not? Hear this: God cannot bless the person we are pretending to be.
Do we come to church wearing the scent of Esau? Do we go to God wearing clothes that make us look and feel different from who we truly are inside? We live a life of appearances, and we wonder why God won’t bless us. But God’s already told us this: the truth will set you free.
Leading a double life is tough. Pretending to be someone else is tough. Maybe you’re doing either of these because you’re looking for acceptance from the wrong places. Christ accepts you the way you are, and invites you to have a personal relationship with him just the way you are. No more, no less.
Here’s some reminders we need: seeking the truth will set us free. And truth is a person. And we’re forgiven by grace. We are the temple of the Holy Spirit. And we can walk towards the truth without fear.
To end this meditation on the life of Jacob, we should look at how God changed his identity from “heel grabber / Jacob” to “triumphant in God / Israel”. But we shouldn’t stop there. We shouldn’t stop reading at the point where God transforms the life and identity of Jacob, and gives him a new name and a new life.
The real surprise comes when we read further. If you read beyond Genesis and get to Exodus, you’ll find a man called Moses standing in front of a burning bush and talking to God. And you know how God identifies himself?
“God also said to Moses, “Say to the Israelities, ‘The Lord, the God of your fathers — the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac and the God of Jacob — has sent me to you.’ This is my name forever, the name you shall call me from generation to generation.””
He’s the God of Jacob too.
This is what God is saying to us today: if you want to know who I am, I’m the God of Jacob too. I’m the God of the part that you don’t want anyone else to see. I’m not the God only of your victories and your successes, I’m the God of your struggles and your defeats. I’m the God of Jacob too.
He loves us just the way we are, and he gives us the freedom and peace we are looking for. We don’t have to hide. We can come to God just the way we are, because he’s the God of Jacob too.